Information for Stephen Ministry Care Receivers

Aug 14, 2023 |

This article was prepared to enable you, as a potential Care Receiver, to better understand what to expect and how to gain the greatest benefit from your relationship with your Stephen Minister.

You may know Stephen Ministers receive training but beyond that you may not be sure what to expect from your Stephen Minister. Given everything you are dealing with in your life, you will probably welcome the support that this person can give you.

Your Stephen Minister is someone affiliated with the church who made the decision that he or she wanted to help others in a personal, one-on-one relationship. They were interviewed and selected by Stephen Leaders on the basis of their commitment to helping others. Your Stephen Minister received more than 50 hours of training over a period of six months. They attend continuing education classes monthly where they are provided with additional information about issues pertaining to people dealing with life crises. Twice a month they also receive additional support and assistance from Stephen Leaders and other Stephen Ministers in supervisory sessions. Many Stephen Ministers have experience working with other Care Receivers in the past.

1. What is Stephen Ministry?

It is a ministry of presence. Stephen Ministers help primarily by just “being there” - by meeting with their Care Receivers, talking with them about their challenges, pain, sorrow, fears, hopes as well as their triumphs and accomplishments. Stephen Ministers also understand that their Care Receivers deal with issues they face in many different ways. Grieving will often result in great sorrow and tears, but it can also generate laughter when remembering a humorous incident with a loved one who is now gone. Tragic losses and challenges can cause some people to question their belief in God in the most critical ways. Unlike family members or even friends, Stephen Ministers can be objective yet concerned and compassionate. That’s what Stephen Ministers do. They create an environment where their Care Receiver can feel safe to express feelings without judgment or criticism.

Ideally, a Care Receiver will meet with his or her Stephen Minister once a week for approximately an hour. Sometimes when schedules do not permit them to meet weekly., phone conversations help fill in the gap. In addition, Stephen Ministers pray for their Care Receivers between visits.

A Care Receiver will experience the greatest benefit from the relationship when they meet on a regular basis with their Stephen Minister. Phone conversations are helpful but face-to-face conversations are better. If more than a few weeks go by without a face-to-face between the Care Receiver and the Stephen Minister without explanation, there may be cause for concern.

Selecting a time and a place to talk privately and uninterrupted is important. Sometimes the meeting can be arranged in the Care Receiver’s home but valuable meetings also take place walking through the park, at a quiet restaurant, or sitting in a car at the drive-in.

2. Is my Stephen Minister a professional counselor or a pastor?

Your Stephen Minister is neither a professional counselor or an ordained pastor. Stephen Ministers listen intently to your concerns and pray with you. They may even help you “brain storm” or help you think of ways to more effectively meet the challenges you are facing.  Generally, they will not give you advice or direction. You should not expect them to solve problems for you.

That doesn’t mean that they are not effective. On the contrary, the process people go through in talking about the concerns they face is amazingly effective in helping to overcome their challenges, especially with God’s help.

Stephen Ministers also understand that it can be extremely difficult for a Care Receiver to talk about the issues they are dealing with. They recognize that talking can be painful. They are trained to be patient and understand. In addition they also know that by sharing concerns with someone the Care Receiver, at least for a time, can relieve themselves of the burdens they carry. Stephen Ministers want to help you but you should not expect them to baby sit, do yard work, pick up groceries or perform other personal services.

3. Can I count on my Stephen Minister to be discreet?

Your Stephen Minister will not violate your confidence. Stephen Ministers will never reveal to anyone other than the Stephen Leader or the pastor that assigned them what you have told them. In small supervision meetings Stephen Ministers will not confirm or deny who their Care Receiver is. One exception: Stephen Ministers are required to immediately report any situation where a Care Receiver threatens injury to him/herself or others.

4. Aren’t Stephen Ministers really just friends?

Stephen Ministers are not personal friends in the traditional sense. Although much of what Stephen Ministers do looks like what a friend might do, the relationship is different. Your Stephen Minister will not invite you and your family to his or her house for dinner nor will they accept an invitation from you to do the same. Your Stephen Minister might, however, suggest that you participate in a Bible study, other church related function or support group. Sometimes they may participate with you in these events.

5. For how long will my Stephen Minister meet with me?

There is no set time period for you to meet with your Stephen Minister. The duration of your relationship will depend in most instances on how long you need them. Some Stephen Ministers meet with their Care Receivers for a few months during a period of crisis and, when the crisis is resolved, the relationship ends, provided both the Care Receiver and Stephen Minister feel it is appropriate to do so. In other situations, the care provided by a Stephen Minister may continue for several years.

6. What if the relationship with my Stephen Minister doesn’t work for me?

The vast majority of Care Receivers feel good about the assistance they receive from their Stephen Minister.  However, if for whatever reason, there is anything about meeting with your Stephen Minister that doesn’t make sense to you or makes you feel uncomfortable, you are encouraged to speak to your Stephen Minister about it. Because she or he is a compassionate and caring person, she or he will generally respond to your concerns. If you are still not satisfied with the situation, you are encouraged to speak with the Stephen Leader who first assigned you a Stephen Minister.

7. I like what my Stephen Minister did for me. Could I become a Stephen Minister?

Because the experience of working with a Stephen Minister is such a positive one for many Care Receivers some ask, “What does it take to become a Stephen Minister and am I qualified?” The answer is it all depends on the individual. Some former Care Receivers, after introspection and prayer, go on to train as Stephen Ministers. Their personal experiences often enrich the quality and depth of care they provide to their Care Receivers. Other individuals determine ultimately that there are alternative ways that they can serve God, the church and its members. We believe that their missions are also enriched by their experience with Stephen Ministry.