I don’t remember when or how the seed was planted. I feel like it was always just there. It was almost as if my whole life, I’d been primed for the conversation when Aimee brought it up for the first time. She remembers vividly the first time that she and I talked about it together. We were both volunteering at FUMC Georgetown’s famous pumpkin patch. We weren’t even engaged yet, probably 19 or 20 years old. We would volunteer to work it in the middle of the day when we didn’t have class because it was supposed to be a youth fundraiser, but youth couldn’t be there while they were in school. We’d sit there and talk for hours and every once-in-a-while someone would come by and pick out a pumpkin or two. One afternoon, a man rolled his wheelchair over from across the street—and as he looked the pumpkins over, he struck up a conversation with Aimee. She’s good at that. Before you know it, he’s telling us his life story—he and his wife had been married for very many years and in that time, they’d fostered very many children in the foster care system. When their biological children were busy in high school, they got a call about an infant who just needed a place to stay for the weekend. He told the person on the other end of the line that they were taking a break from foster care and would not be available. His wife had overheard the conversation. She immediately made him call back and inform the caseworker that they would, in fact, take the child for the weekend. The weekend turned into a long-term foster placement, and then after a time, they decided to adopt this little boy. He was the only child they ever adopted out of all the ones they had fostered.
Eventually, the man paid for his pumpkins and went on his way, leaving just the two of us again. Then she said, “I think I’d like to adopt one day. I mean, I want to have biological kids first, but after that….” I felt it too. Even then, we knew that this would one day be a part of our story. Fast forward almost 20 years…in that time we got married, started careers, had Keira and Micah. It wasn’t always at the forefront, but it never faded either. We’d talk about it, it was still part of the plan, but someday, far off. In 2017, I transitioned from youth ministry to missions ministry—during that time, our church took seriously the call to love our neighbors and we invested heavily into our one-mile radius—the neighborhoods, schools, and partners right around the church. That led me to CarePortal—which was focused on helping to meet material needs to support families right down the street who were working on improvement plans through the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services. Sometimes, a parent had completed their program and their child or children were ready to move back home, but they couldn’t go back if the mom or dad didn’t have a bed for the child to sleep in or other necessities for taking care of children. It was through CarePortal, for the first time, that I’d come face to face with kids in the system. We collected and delivered so many beds to kids who’d been sleeping on the floor or on couches. We bought bicycles for teenagers who needed transportation to school and work who were about to age out of the system and find themselves alone at age 18. What had been a distant dream lying dormant, began to tug rather aggressively at my heart as I grieved the plight of the children who lived just down the street from where I lived and worked. I shared these stories with Aimee. At any given time, there were about 100 kids in DFW whose parental rights had been terminated and who were just waiting to be adopted.
We started talking about adoption again, except this time, we made a mistake. We told Keira and Micah about our dream. At that time, they were 11 and 9, and from that moment they were fully on-board, but to kids, hopes and wishes are much less abstract—with finite outcomes. We might as well have told them we were planning a trip to Disney. “When’s our new brother or sister going to be here?” “Have you started yet?” “Have you started yet?” “Have you started yet?” That was sort of the final push when we finally resolved to take the first steps. In 2021 (yep, middle of COVID), we were licensed as adoptive parents and then we just waited. The journey since then really deserves its own, whole other story, but really what I’m trying to say is that after three years of waiting, we matched with a 14-year-old boy and he’s moving in the first week of August…like…in one week! The system being what it is, and confidentiality and all that, I can’t tell you anything about him…yet, but you’ll get to meet him soon.
This has all happened so quickly and frankly was not what we’d imagined, but we’re open and trusting that God is doing something good. The next two weeks will be a flurry of activity as we register for school, furnish his room, complete observation hours, attend doctor visits, fill out paperwork, fill out more paperwork, meet all the various members of his care team, etc. Once he’s placed here, it doesn’t slow down. The first six months of the placement are supervised to make sure that this is really the best place for him to be. His caseworker, CASA, and attorney ad-litem will all make scheduled (and unscheduled) visits to our home. There will be meetings with the school to assess where he is and set up an individualized education plan. There will be family and individual counseling and support groups to help us make the transition. He’s gaining a rather large, supportive family, and it’ll take time to introduce him to everyone in a way that’s not overwhelming. It’s going to be a lot. As Aimee and I considered all that would need to happen during this six-month supervisory window, we ultimately decided that it would be best for me to take advantage of the maternity/paternity leave benefit. That leave was approved by our SPR and the Bishop and cabinet of our conference. When the placement happens at the beginning of August, I will take eight weeks off from work so that I can focus on all the things that will be happening in those first two months. As my eight weeks comes to an end, Aimee will take the maternity leave offered by her work so that she can take over. During that time, I’m making arrangements to pass my responsibilities to a team of lay people so that our Neighboring Ministries will continue in my absence. It’ll be a little weird. At the same time, we will also likely bring him to church to meet the youth group and come to worship together as a family. You might see me around in August and September, but if you ask me about church stuff, I won’t have a clue… haha.
My family eagerly anticipates the arrival of this new family member. In so many ways, God has faithfully brought us to this moment, and we are thankful for the support and prayers of our church family. At this time, all we need is prayers, some time to do all the things, and for you to continue to be the warm, safe place that has nurtured my family all these years.
Grace and Peace,
Matt (Soon to be father of 3)
